What if your life felt like the hit-show Severance: one self for work, one for life? For many autistic professionals like myself, it’s reality, where often only the work-self survives.
After a day of working and relentless masking, I have little energy left for life outside of work. Some days, I have none left at all. It’s not the workload that drains me, it’s the performance around it. Every day, I’m an actor in a play where everyone knows the cues and lines by heart. Yet, somehow, I never received a script. That performance alone drains me, just to keep up with what’s considered normal.
This pressure isn’t random. It’s built on unconscious bias, such as:
- Confidence must be loud
- Small talk equals connection
- Visibility means leadership potential
- Presence in after-work events means commitment
- Celebrating success means loud alcohol-fueled social events
These norms push autistic professionals like myself to live a double life. How can we truly thrive outside of work when all our energy goes into masking…just to fit in during the day?
The solution isn’t to tell neurodivergent employees to ‘be yourselves’. Unfortunately, that’s an empty phrase. Real inclusion takes work, and real change. It requires a reduction in bias around performance expectations and company culture. The core rule is that a ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach never works for a unique pool of diverse employees. We must rethink what inclusion truly means—even in how we celebrate milestones.
This could mean:
- Sending out a poll for celebration events
- Rethinking meeting structures to be more inclusive
- Creating clear feedback structures that are independent of how well a person socializes with the team
- Assigning clear roles during meetings
What’s your advice for supporting autistic professionals to manage their energy and feel included at work?
James Gale 
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